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Saturday, July 17, 2010

Thou shall not offend

Warning: You are about to get sucked into the swirling, whirling vortex that is my thought process.

Yesterday I got a bee in my bonnet about breastfeeding and circumcision.  I've had a few friends and acquaintances tell me they're sick of hearing from the extremists.  Some also say I should be careful what I post because I could turn people off of the very things I'm promoting.  I started to think that maybe I should just post occasionally and try not to say anything to anyone personally.  Well, I decided that the welfare of the children is more important.  The more I learn, the more I am horrified by circumcision and the more important it becomes to make breastfeeding the norm in our society.  I know that there will be people who don't agree with me, and that's fine.  If I reach one person, I've done a good job.  Still, I don't want to offend my friends and loved ones, right?

Wait.

That sounds very familiar.  That's what so many Christians say, right?  Yet God commands us to spread the good news to everyone.

So what do we do?  We don't want to sound self-righteous, but we want to educate.  Some say we should wait until someone asks us for information.  What if they don't have enough information to know they need more?  What if they've only been introduced to our information by people who don't have correct information or who were rude, arrogant or otherwise a negative representation of that information?  Shouldn't we try to lovingly educate everyone then?

I will admit that while this back-and-forth, devil's-advocate analysis went on in my head, I started to feel quite spunky and determined.  I WOULD tell people that circumcision is dangerous and unnecessary, and I WOULD do everything I could to make breastfeeding the norm in our society.  (The Gospel angle came later.)  Really, I DON'T CARE if you're offended!  I put a lot of thought into my posts and the articles I share, and my intention is never to offend. If you are offended, take a step back and think about why.  Maybe the same information was presented to you by someone who did mean to offend or be rude. I'm not that person. Maybe you don't feel the same way, and I'm inadvertently making you feel guilty. Maybe your guilt is telling you that I might be right. Hmmm... My instincts have told me I'm wrong many times. I'm learning to listen them...which brings me back to my original statement about carefully planning my posts...

My original statement of "I don't care" doesn't sit well with me, though.  It didn't before I originally made it, and it's only getting worse.  I think it's not a very Christian thing to say.  There has to be a better way.  Pardon me while I ramble for a bit.  What I mean is I am not trying to offend, and if you are offended, it's your problem.  But then I think that I had a hand in it, and then I wonder where the line is.  There are people who will always feel offended no matter what I say or do.  How much effort equals my best effort?  Could I overcorrect and come across with some other negative attitude besides self-righteousness or arrogance?

So far I've had nothing but positive replies to my statement.  Still, I feel guilty for the harshness of it.  A friend quoted a scripture that I'd never understood prior to my discussion with her: "...and blessed is the one who is not offended by me" (Luke 7:23).  Reading Luke 7:20-23, I received no more clarification.  The meaning of this passage has eluded me for years.  I even tried to find studies of it online.  All I found was more reference to stumbling, what causes it, and who's susceptible to it.  My friend offered this explanation: "I think it's more of our attitude... if our hearts are right w/ HIS, and we are willing to look at HIS truth instead of always pointing the finger or making excuses, then we will not be easily offended and run away from the truth."  Ah.  That makes since.  Stay focused on Jesus and you won't stumble.  I read a study on the passage that pointed us to Galatians 6:1: "Brothers,if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted."  That seems to refer to the other extreme of focusing so hard on what is right that we lose sight of WHO is right and stumble. It really is a fine line, eh?

I'm still not sure if I took the right step saying what I said, but now I know why I'm unsure.  I didn't consult with God before speaking (or typing, as the case was).  My dear friend was sent by God to remind me that He will guide my right actions, and only He.  I need to focus on Him so that I don't stumble off the path.  With Him, I can be sure that any offense is an unavoidable consequence of His order of things and not the result of a bad choice on my part.  Hopefully, those who care about me will know I say the things I say with love, an event more likely if I let Love guide me.

So... Feel free to engage in friendly debate.  I might learn something!  Don't accuse me of emotion-based, fact-insufficient rhetoric, though.  If I'm wrong, I'll admit it.  I'm happy to learn more and refine my arguments.  ;o)

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Mikey Update 7/14/10

Well, Mikey did get his tube out on my birthday...he YANKED it out about 6am.  Good morning, Mama!  We decided enough was enough; we're leaving it out.  It's been a struggle to get JUST enough in him, with many days not even reaching just enough, but he's slowly eating more and more.

He had his helmet imaging done this week.  They got a good picture, so his helmet has been ordered and will be here the 27th.  His head is still changing a lot for his age, so I'm optimistic that he will respond quickly to the helmet.

His head tilt and upper-body strength are improving rapidly.  He's also really learned to sit up over the last few days.  He can't get into the sitting position yet, but he can sit for several minutes with the right motivation.  He really loves his physical therapist, Trista, but he still protests - loudly - when she works with him.

He was evaluated today to see if he qualifies for the Arizona Early Intervention Program (AzEIP), which provides assistance, financial and otherwise, for families whose children under three have a significant delay in at least one area.  Mikey has a delay in feeding and speech, but he has a significant delay in gross motor skills.  The scoring is screwy because it put him at 2 months old.  Um...not so much.  Maybe 6 months...  Even the therapist thought it was "harsh."  It's nice to know that we won't have to worry about all this therapy business if something catastrophic happens, like, say, the insurance company sees the words "developmental delay" and decide to cut off our coverage.  Yes, there is unlimited coverage for no specific reason, but developmental delay has a limit.  Stupid, backward insurance.

Mikey has come leaps and bounds in the last month.  I know part of the reason is his new positioner, the Snuggin Go.  I tried it out in the store and bought it instantly! Not only does it hold his head perfectly straight (and the rest of his body!), unlike the head positioner, it doesn't heat him up like the head positioner. Also, it allows him to turn his head (while keeping his neck straight), while his shoulders are held in place by the harness...instant stretch! He almost never cries in his carseat now, where he almost never DIDN'T cry before! Also, this positioner has an adjustable bar that goes behind the neck, so when he sleeps, his head doesn't drop, compressing his airway. This positioner is GREAT! I'm telling everyone!  Okay...plug complete.  I wasn't paid for this advertisement.  :o)