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Thursday, September 16, 2010

SCL Week 2 Day 3

I combined the first few week's exercises, so I'm sort of skipping ahead.  During the last week of tracking, we were supposed to observe any mental pictures that we have when our impulses soar.  My images weren't the same, any more than my triggers were the same.  Basically, my mind magnified whatever trigger caused me to feel bad.  If it was a mess in the kitchen, I felt like I was on an episode of Hoarding: Buried Alive.  If it was a mess in the family room, I pictured Ellie perpetually tearing apart the house with no idea of taking care of possessions.  If it was a glimpse of myself in the mirror or being winded after climbing the stairs, I pictured myself 250 pounds with diabetes and heart disease.  I have no control over these images, but the same image always appears after the same type of trigger.  I am just now to the part in the book where we explore controlling our flesh, and I hope there's something about changing our mind's images.  That certainly seems to be the next step for me.

As for the time-of-day triggers, I realize now that being tired makes me especially vulnerable, and those are the two times of the day, followed closely by lunchtime, when I feel the most tired.  Simple as that.

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