The scripture verse was Colossians 1:17:
"He is before all things, and in him all things hold together."
Part of the text of the lesson read,
"Are you going through a difficult situation in your life right now? Are there circumstances you cannot understand? Instead of trying to fix it or control it, rather than trying to figure out the what, when, where and why of your struggle, focus instead on God your sustainer. Jesus, the friend who knows and cares for your every need, is also the Lord who directs the events of your life moment by moment - in love - to make you more like him."
Last night I prayed to God to help me turn everything over to Him. There is a most distinct difference between doing this and doing it completely. There is no question that I fully trust God. I trust that He is all powerful, that He will get us through this and fix the things that need fixing, and that He does and allows all things for good. Still, all week I've struggled with stress from still holding on to some part of our situation. I asked God to help me turn it all over, since I obviously don't know how yet. I fell asleep shortly after that, probably out of relief from turning that alone over to God.
I'd completely forgotten I'd prayed that prayer until I read this lesson this afternoon, and it came flooding back. I just needed God to spell out for me each element of my worry, so that I may give it up to Him piece by piece.
Then the lesson instructed me to read Romans 8:28:
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
I heard God say, "Just be patient; you have to go through this." And I remembered a thought I've had many times for Mikey: if only I could explain to him that this is all for good, and if he just relaxed and let it happen, it would all be over soon enough. Sometimes I'd even say it, somewhat frustrated that he just didn't get it (knowing full well that he couldn't possibly understand), and that made me realize that God is saying the same thing to me, and I'm just not understanding. I'm still a child of God; there are things I can't understand, but I am, by the grace of God, mature enough to trust God and let it happen.
So He's telling me, and I'm listening...and now I understand.